You Know You're a Student Midwife When...

You can accurately measure width, depth, and length with just one hand...

You have a permanent red mark across your abdomen from your polyester uniform trousers...

You only urinate when you wake up and again before you go to bed...

You automatically prepare to be vomited, urinated, and shit on, and this doesn't faze you anymore...

Your wardrobe consists of uniforms and pajamas...

Your family forget what you look like when you're on placement...

You FaceTime your kids goodnight...

You FaceTime your kids good morning...

The drive-thru Starbucks staff all know your "usual" (venti skinny chai tea latte)...

You procrastinate writing assignments by writing a list of student midwife indicators...